The Dangers of Skinny Dipping
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Let's face it. When your a cartoon. Skinny dipping is just asking for trouble...something dipper and Wendy are about to learn the hard way...Post- Into the bunker. AU!
1. Chapter 1

The dangers of skinny dipping

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Dipper was exhausted. Ever since the bunker he'd been burying himself in all

sorts of chores, errands, and busywork. To keep his mind off Wendy. He'd

been running himself ragged...which is probably why he obliviously walked off

the trail and fell down a small hill. Dipper groaned. Then to his surprise, he

found himself surrounded by steam...he'd discovered a secret hot spring!

Desperately wanting to relax. Dipper quickly stripped down and got in. After a

couple minutes of letting the spring do it's work. Enough of his aches and

pains went away to start thinking right again...and realize he'd walked right

into a comedic cliché. Quickly, dipper ran through the steam. Hopping to get

to his clothes before his usual "luck" kicked in-

**WHAM!**

Yep, he crashed into something. And now he was being flung through the air.

Someone was holding him against a tree.

**POW!**

And of course a painful blow to his testicles. Despite the situation. Dipper

would be lying if didn't enjoy the sight of a surprised and naked Wendy...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't. **

**But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

The dangers of skinny dipping ch. 2

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Wendy was horrified and panicking! When something slammed into her, she'd reacted on instinct! And now she'd just punched her best friend(after only a couple days after she'd broke his heart no less!) in the balls! And now he was crying! Of course he was crying! She'd just slammed him in the testicles!

Desperately, Wendy tried to fix the problem. And immediately winched. Wow! She'd really did a number down there! It was also taking all her will power not to laugh at Dipper's "Size-challenged" nether regions.

"Dipper, I'm so sorry!" shouted Wendy. Suddenly she heard voices! She turned around and saw shapes coming there way! Fearing embarrassment both for herself and dipper. She picked him up and ran-

**SLAM!**

**GAAAHHH!**

Cried out dipper as Wendy accidentally slammed his crotch on a nearby boulder while she was running. "Sorry!" She shouted again...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

The dangers of skinny dipping ch. 3

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Not having much options; Wendy threw herself and Dipper into a nearby cramped cave-

**CRUNCH!**

**GAH!**

-Where Wendy immediately, accidentally sits on Dippers crotch; crushing it in her haste.

Dipper can't help but cry! He was in agony! Wendy panicked, Dippers blubbering might attract attention.

It was too cramped to really move, not that she would if she could. Not only was there too much risk of her sudden movements attracting attention...but more importantly; she currently couldn't really move without crushing Dippers crotch further.

Still she tries to comfort him quietly. "I'm sorry! Really! I'm not doing this on purpose! But you gotta be quiet man! I know it hurts! But it'll hurt even more if people see your small-

She stopped herself mid-sentence...but the damage was already done...if the undeniable feeling of Dipper glaring holes in the back of her head were any indication.

She groans in self-loathing. "I will make this up to you, no matter what! I swear!" She said honestly.

…...

For hours they listened to a bunch of incoherent voices that were too close for comfort...and with each passing minute...their situation became more and more awkward.

When the adrenaline(or pain in Dippers case) wore off...they became very self-aware of their nudity...more importantly that Wendy was currently sitting on Dippers genitals.

The situation became even more awkward when Dipper body betrayed him...and went 'stiff'.

Both of them could feel it, they knew that each other could feel it...but they hoped if they refused to acknowlege it then it wouldn't be so mortifying...it was...

Desperate to get his mind off...well, everything else...Dipper glanced around the cave...his eyes rested on a weird sigil. _Huh, I think I've seen that in the journal. _Thinks Dipper as he reaches over to touch it-

**glow**

Which of course leads to the ground giving way beneath them...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Love me, flame me, review me**


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